I have watched a number of movies where there is a scene where a wife is complaining about the husband leaving the toilet seat up or something alluding to that. I always think, “don’t they think that husbands may also be inconvenienced by finding toilet seats down and then having to put them up?”
Before our wedding, a friend of ours told us that the best premarital advice he got was not to have expectations of the marriage; or if you must, then have expectations of only yourself. However, most of us go into marriage with a list of expectations for their spouses to fulfil (rarely uttered out) e.g. my wife will cook, my husband will take me out every so often, etc. We are rarely focused on what we are bringing into the marriage.
Paul writes in Ephesians 5;
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
25Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her,
The above verses are about what a wife and husband should do. They are not about what they should demand from the other person even though they have been sometimes used as guidelines to make demands in marriages.
This applies to all relationships. Work on what kind of person you want to be regardless of external influences. This mindset takes the focus away from other people whose actions you cannot control. It instead shifts it to the only person whose actions you can control; You!